In the not-so-distant past — specifically, two sprints ago — two mild-mannered developer relations dudes, were knee-deep in yet another Jira hellscape. They weren’t just explaining the difference between REST and GraphQL for the thousandth time — they were also dodging Slack pings from six different middle managers, all asking if their status updates were "on brand."

One fateful Thursday, during an All-Hands that should've been an email, the quantum servers at a secret AWS datacenter (zone us-east-1Dino) glitched during a Terraform deployment. The energy from the infinite spinning wheels of loading dashboards sparked a rift in space-time, opening a Dino-dimensional rift right under the feet of our two dev heroes.

They were sucked into the Jurassic Cloud, a prehistoric DevOps wasteland where velociraptors deployed monoliths and tyrannosaurs used Vim. Amid the chaos, a glowing hoodie appeared before them. It was woven from ThreadOps-9, a mythical fiber that only compiles under extreme burnout conditions. Upon donning the hoodie, They each gained unique superpowers:

• Dev 1 could deploy any stack in under 60 seconds — even with Webpack involved.

• Dev 2 could speak in perfectly clear documentation — in every human and dinosaur language.

Using their newfound powers, they tamed the velociraptors, rewrote the monolithic Dino CMS into a slick headless GraphQL API, and even taught a brontosaurus to CI/CD. They were ready to return home — but the only way back was through the Great Merge Conflict guarded by the ancient beast known as MiddleManagementasaurus Rex, a creature who fed on pointless check-ins and synergies.

With sass, syntax, and several sick front-end animations, they defeated the beast using their ultimate weapon: a t-shirt cannon that launched ultra-soft tees printed with truth bombs like “I Survived another Daily Standup” and “rm -rf /management”.

Back in the real world, they emerged changed — stronger, freer, 300% sassier.

They founded Miserably Employed, a t-shirt shop for rebels, builders, and anyone who has ever felt the cold, gaslighting glare of a “quick sync.” Their mission? To liberate devs everywhere with humor, style, and the world’s softest rebellion.

Also, the t-shirts block telemetry. You're welcome.

And that’s how we saved the world.

One print at a time.

🦖🦸‍♂️👕